THOUGHTFORMS

This is a true story about my childhood....I may get some of my memories wrong but it is true to me and I will do my best not to exaggerate and will just tell it like is was, I may or may not joke about it, it depends on how I am feeling at the time.

The reason why I want to write about this is that it may help me understand why I am who I am now that I am 50+ and yesterday was my birthday 31st December. Also I thought it might be of some help to others who have also had an army/forces upbringing/life. I was told by my Father when I was a rebellious teenager that if somebody is aiming a gun at you and you know he's about to shoot you it would be very stupid not to shoot him first. My Dad loved nature and was very kind to animals and to people without guns and explosives. He was softly spoken and articulate. He was a loving and funny Dad and never ever hit me or swore. He had been in the army for I think about 24 years. He never hit or swore at my Mum. He did however occasionally drink until he could drink no more, but always with a funny smile on his face .....he was Irish ! and of course I loved him to bits, why wouldn't I , after all I was only a child. Army men were well known for their drinking abilities. I never became a drinker, possibly a few glasses of gluvine and a bout of trying it when in my late twenty's.

I was about four and I lived in Cyprus with my older brother and Mum and Dad. One day I was told that I wasn't to go to school because there was a man on top of a water tank (they are huge) and he had a rifle. I was told that he was a 'sniper' this was the first time I had heard that word.
and I was to be very, very, still ...so very still, I was not to look out of the window it was hot and very dry ... I can't remember how long I had to be still but I remember hearing a few cracking noises and all was OK again. But I was never frightened just in a frozen kind of waiting state. I felt very protected being with my Mum She was one hell of a woman but that's another story maybe for another time.

I still have that stillness to this day depending on what's been happening.

I had a wonderful time being a child in Cyprus and enjoyed going to the beach with my Mum and Dad, white sand and with my red bucket and spade collecting small round black beetles and shoving then into my bucket only for them to escape as fast as I'm putting them in...my Dad found a white gold ring there and I remember a huge pillar on it.s side by the water edge I think. I remember that there were many snakes (real snakes) poor Fluffy (my pet rabbit).